Sunday, February 13, 2011

H1N1 and One Family's Story of Appreciation for Union-won Benefits




My name is Tanya Cook.  I am a graduate student in the sociology department at UW-Madison, a Wisconsin native, and the mother of three great kids.  I’d like to share my family’s story with you.  I hope it helps illustrate how the Emergency Budget Repair Bill may hurt Wisconsin families by restricting Union bargaining rights.  If this bill passes, it may have the damaging effect of eliminating health insurance and tuition remission benefits for many teaching and project assistants at the UW.  Losing my tuition benefit and/or health insurance is literally taking money away from my kids.  I cannot overstate how much my family has appreciated the insurance benefit.  

In May of 2009 while working as a project assistant and covered by my health insurance benefit through the UW, I had an emergency appendectomy.  Less than three weeks after recovering from this procedure my husband became gravely ill with H1N1.  He experienced lung failure and was put into an induced coma in the ICU for a month so that a ventilator could assist with his breathing.  Thankfully he recovered and was able to return home after a two-month hospital stay.  We are grateful for the excellent care he received, the support of family and friends, and definitely feel blessed by a higher power for his survival.  We are also grateful that we paid very little out of pocket for what totaled over $150,000 in medical expenses.  Without our insurance benefit, if we had had to pay even a portion of this total our family may have had to declare bankruptcy.  When you are a young healthy person it is easy to take your health for granted, but as we learned in 2009, even healthy people can become deathly ill in days.  

I am thinking about all of the people that may suffer if this goes through.  I think this could have the effect of putting more grad students with families on Badger Care and food stamps.  Luckily my husband's income pays for our cost of living but there are many single student parents who do not have the option of being covered by their partner's income/insurance.  These individuals provide valuable services to the state as a whole.  We educate your children while taking care of our own.  We love our jobs, we love working with students, and we want to continue to serve and help others with our work.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day: Love Hurts

We've all had that heartbreak moment when we've recalled the lyrics of the popular Nazareth cover of "Love Hurts."  "Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and marks."  As parents we get to experience love and pain in new dimensions.  

This will be my tenth year as a parent.  I remember people saying things like "your life is over," and "everything will change" when I was pregnant with my oldest.  I hated it when people said these things.  To me they were nearly as unwelcome as the comments about my growing girth, "Wow you're getting fat/big/large/huge."  Yes, I am big, yes this child is making me eat a pint of Haagen Dazs and several bacon sandwiches a day.  So what?  Kiss my expanding ass.

Aside from the fact that these comments are terribly cliche they are also terribly obvious.  Yes, everything does change.  Yes, your life as you know it is over, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Words like "busy" and "tired" take on whole new meanings, but the really tough part of parenting is not the 2 am feedings or micro managing a toddler.  Although these activities are certainly exhausting, it's the emotional burden of parenting that will give you the proverbial gray hair.  

I'm sure I'm borrowing this metaphor and it may be just as cliche as the well-meaning comments I abhorred, but having a child is truly like having your heart grow legs and walk around outside of you.  Loving my children is the most emotionally painful thing I've ever experienced because I have absolutely no control.  I have no choice in loving them, loving them utterly, completely, to distraction.  As much as I do to ensure their safety and well being, I can't keep them in the protective bubble I'd like to at times.  Life is risky and there's not really a damn thing I can do about it.  

When they get sick it's not the endless management of bodily fluids that gets to me (although this is not fun), it's the fear.  The fear that they might not make it.  The fear that this virus will be deadly overwhelms me.  Most of the time, if we are lucky, I think we all go about our day as though we'll continue to have good health and the blessings of enough to eat and clean water.  But when someone you love is suffering, all of your mental capacity becomes focused on one prayer/mantra:  "please-please-please-please-please let them be okay."  You beg until their temperature drops, they stop vomiting, or they get up and run around again and then you breathe the sigh-of-relief prayer "thank you!"  All is not well, however.  Things will never be the same. After all, "love hurts...love marks."